The City Zoo - Rules and Regulations

2021.12.02 02:56 glutenfreekids The City Zoo - Rules and Regulations

The City Zoo Visitor Regulations
Dear visitors, welcome to the biggest zoo in our city. We have an extensive collection of animals from all over the world, with suitable habitats constructed for every species. For your own safety, please make sure to abide by the following rules. Enjoy your visit!

  1. Our containment measures are secured beyond doubt and are impossible for animals to escape. In particular, small herbivores are always locked up in sealed habitats. If you see any escaped rabbits around, please stay away and alert the staff immediately. Do not approach or touch them, especially if they're starting to dash towards you.
  2. There is only one street in Gorilla Land. Only gorillas live in Gorilla Land. If you see two streets and rabbits, please take the street on the left and leave the area as soon as possible.
  3. Elephants are massive creatures with a long trunk, thick legs, and wide, flat ears. They are not white. Please ensure that you see, and only see elephants in Elephant Park.
  4. Stores in our zoo do not sell "rabbit blood." Please do not purchase if you see them on the shelf.
  5. Do not stay alone under the tree shades in Rabbit Field.
  6. The zoo does not have an Aquarium. If a staff member tries to sell you a ticket, refuse them.
  7. If you are already seeing the Aquarium, leave immediately and call the number on the map.
  8. Do not feed rabbits. Other animals are fine.
  9. Rabbits do not laugh. If you hear laughter that clearly isn't from other visitors while in Rabbit Field, please tear off the map along the dotted line and hold it tight. Do not let go until you are completely out of the zoo.
  10. If you have unfortunately broken any rules above and found yourself lost and alone, please search for the nearest store posthaste and notify the clerk with a blue uniform. (NOTE: if the clerk has a black uniform, please ignore them no matter what they say.) They will immediately take you to the staff entrance of Lion Mountain. Don't be afraid, the lions won't attack you. Please hide behind the rock and stay put until every white lion starts to roar. A staff member will then take you out of there (make sure they're wearing a blue uniform). Your companions will be waiting at the entrance. Please leave the zoo immediately afterward.
  11. There are only four white lions in the zoo. If you see more than four lions roaring in rule 10, stay where you are and notify the staff. Only leave after the number has returned to four.
  12. You can buy any animal toys for children under 12 and below, including rabbits. Rabbit plushies brought for children aged 13 to 17 must be discarded within one month of the purchase. Those above 18 must not buy rabbit-themed toys.
  13. If you see a person wearing rabbit ears and they're entering Elephant Park with the crowd, don't go in. The zoo cannot be held responsible for your safety should you choose otherwise, and there's nothing to be done afterward.
  14. Lion Mountain is safe. If you're in danger and unable to seek help, please immediately seek out Lion Mountain at any cost.
  15. Be wary of friends that you've once separated from. Especially if they repeatedly try to convince you to visit the Aquarium or Elephant Park.
As long as you follow the rules, you will surely have an enjoyable trip! Stay safe and have fun!
Staff Regulations
Our zoo has some of the best employee benefits, including ten times the usual wage, frequent holidays, and universal insurance. For your safety, please always keep these rules in mind. Life is precious and you only have one. Follow the regulations for both yourselves and your families.
  1. Do not try to capture escaped rabbits, nor should you approach. Lure them to Lion Mountain and let the white lions handle them.
  2. There is only one street in Gorilla Land. If someone reports two streets and rabbits, please lead the visitors to the left street and close the entrance. After all visitors have left the area, close Gorilla Land for at least ten minutes.
  3. When inspecting Elephant Park, if you feel that the elephants looked remarkably different from the drawing on the sign, immediately look away and repeatedly tell yourself that real elephants look like what's on the sign, not what you just saw.
  4. If you work at a store, please check the shelf once every hour for appearances of "rabbit blood". If any is found, take it down immediately and store it away.
  5. Prune the trees in Rabbit Field every month. Try not to leave any shades in the Field.
  6. The zoo does not have an Aquarium. If your colleagues bring up the Aquarium and insist it exists, stop the conversation immediately. They're not the person you know anymore.
  7. If you see the Aquarium, do not enter. Tell yourself it doesn't exist and leave immediately.
  8. Feeding time for rabbits is once a week. Anything outside of the authorized food is forbidden.
  9. If you hear laughter that clearly isn't from visitors while in Rabbit Field, turn to the last page of Staff Regulations and tear it off along the dotted line. Go to Elephant Park and throw the slip on the lawn. Other staff will understand what's happening and will not blame you for littering.
  10. If a visitor asks you for help claiming they separated from others after breaking the visitor regulations, take them to Lion Mountain at once. The staff there will know what to do. Staff wearing black uniforms might try to interfere. Refuse and ignore them; they're not your colleague.
  11. There are only four white lions in Lion Mountain. When it suddenly increases above four, show them some "rabbit blood" and splash it onto the first white lion running towards you. Leave immediately afterward. Do not stay and watch.
  12. Do not smuggle in/organize/restock/use any rabbit merch. Contact should be kept to a minimum. If a visitor wants to buy a rabbit toy, first confirm the to-be owner is underage and refuse to sell it otherwise.
  13. If a person wearing rabbit ears enters Elephant Park, immediately disperse the crowds and guard the entrance. Don't let anyone in until you hear childish shrieking in the Park.
  14. It's normal to have ears buzzing, chest tightness, migraine, and/or red, puffy eyes for less than five minutes. No need to worry. However, if the symptoms continue for more than five minutes, stop what you're doing immediately and head for Lion Mountain by any means, as quickly as possible.
  15. Be kind to white lions. There's never any need to be wary of exactly four lions. They are trained and are accustomed to humans. If you are sadly attacked by white lions and haven't died on the spot, disregard the sixth and the seventh rule. No need to go to hospital — you won't die. After leaving Lion Mountain, head for the Aquarium. You will find it promptly. You will wear a black uniform.
Notice posted outside the Aquarium
If you are lucky enough to see this notice, please keep quiet about it. It's taboo to let others know you can see. As you can probably tell from the regulations on the map, this zoo is a dangerous, sinister place. We're a secret government organization that endeavors to protect innocent visitors. To ensure the safety of your life, please abide by the following rules. They're the only way for you to escape the zoo unharmed.
  1. Enter the Aquarium. There's no one here. Take one of the black uniforms at the door and put it on. This is the only way to signal SOS to our agents. When you're walking about, our agents will notice your uniform. Don't worry, the real employees won't bother you.
  2. Do not go to Lion Mountain.
  3. Make sure there are always rabbits nearby: escaping rabbits, rabbit toys, people wearing rabbit ears, or "rabbit blood" from the stores. Rabbit is our secret signal; it symbolizes safety and protection.
  4. Do not look at the signs while visiting Elephant Park.
  5. Don't trust any rules on the map; do not follow them. If you do, please immediately tear off a piece of the map along the dotted line and go to Rabbit Field, then inconspicuously feed it to a rabbit. Wait until you hear laughter that clearly isn't from visitors, then go to the street on the right in Gorilla Land. The safe exit is at the end of the street.
A slip of paper picked up by a visitor.
(Scribbled on the corner are the words "ESCAPE SURVIVE.")
  1. "rabbit blood" doesn't exist; it's "goat meat." (The line was written and crossed out repeatedly, previous words are indecipherable.)
  2. Goat Hill is elephant. (An elephant with rabbit ears is badly doodled underneath it.)
  3. Rabbits eat gorillas. (Cross out. "gorilla" is circled with a question mark.) Can't talk to staff in Gorilla Land. Can't get out. Can't feed gorilla. Can't enter with one road.
  4. Mustn't enter Aquarium when no one is there.
  5. Only "goat meat" is edible.
  6. If lights out in Aquarium, can stay the night. They don't lock up.
  7. First four white lions are gorillas. Fifth one is goat. Rabbit is elephant. Blue is black. (This is underlined.)
  8. You are elephant. (This line is written in an illegible scrawl.)
  9. I am goat. (This line is written in careful, neat handwriting.)
Notice posted inside the Aquarium
  1. Do not enter the Aquarium when there's someone here. If a staff member greets you when you come in, immediately find an excuse to leave after reading this notice.
  2. If you haven't seen any staff by the time you read this, you can look around or have a rest here. Help yourself to the food — it's available for free. However, "goat meat" should be ignored if you see it on the shelf.
  3. If you entered before 16:00, you must not remain in the Aquarium for more than half an hour.
  4. If you entered after 16:01, you must remain in the Aquarium for at least four hours.
  5. This is the Aquarium. There're only aquatic animals here. If you see elephants swimming in Whale Bay, please avoid any loud exclamation or making a scene. It's a 3D projection installed for entertainment purposes. Please continue on as normal and pretend they're just whales.
  6. You can stay the night in the Aquarium. Beside Jellyfish Reef are hotel rooms for tourists. If you decide to stay, please make sure to turn off the jellyfish night light before going to sleep.
  7. Here our staff members are all dressed in red uniforms, and they only come in after 00:30 a.m. for cleaning and inspection. If you meet staff with a black uniform, it's fine to talk with them or let them act as your guide. But do not hand over your map, especially the part with the dotted line.
  8. Break these rules at your own risk.
  9. The Aquarium exists and does not belong to any organization.
The Aquarium Staff Regulations
  1. Do not work during the day. The working time is 00:30 to 06:00 a.m. You can come in moderately late or leave early, but do not come early or work overtime in any circumstances.
  2. The hotel rooms beside Jellyfish Reef are provided for anyone in need. When you get to work, please check whether they've turned off the jellyfish night light before 01:00. Remind them until they do so. You have the right to forcibly turn it off. Do not under any circumstances allow the light to be on after 01:15.
  3. The drowned elephant corpse in Whale Bay is an experimental 3D projection technology. Just ignore it. It does not matter how realistic it looks. And don't try to find the switch, it doesn't need to be turned off.
  4. The equipment in the monitoring room is broken and inconvenient to repair, so please patrol it every hour. Sudden power failure or loud noise is normal, no need to worry about the fish. If you feel uncomfortable, you can rest at Jellyfish Reef. It has a robust power system and absolutely won't lose power.
  5. It's normal to have visitors holding a zoo map. Do not answer questions like "where is the Aquarium located in the zoo." Ignore them and leave if they pursue the matter.
  6. On Sunday after work, please make sure to recharge the jellyfish night lights. Never, ever forget about it.
  7. Restock the food on the shelf every week. If there's unfamiliar food marked "goat meat," please leave it in the storage box in Whale Bay. Someone will take care of it for you.
  8. You can go anywhere at work time, as long as you don't leave the Aquarium. If a visitor staying the night wants to leave before 06:00, try to dissuade them. No need to get physical if they persist through, nor should you follow them. Just carry on as usual.
  9. If visitors wearing a black uniform want to stay the night, you must refuse and throw them out forcibly. You can find tasers and tranquilizer guns on the workbench in Jellyfish Reef.
  10. If visitors staying the night have rabbit merch with them, steal it after they fall asleep. Put it in the storage box in Whale Bay. They won't make a fuss when they wake up.
  11. If visitors staying the night want to talk with you, it's fine as long as you turn off the lights in time. Do not mention "the zoo." If they bring it up, immediately change the subject.
  12. The Aquarium operates independently. There are no zoos outside. Remember that.
Post-it from a guard working at Elephant Park, three years ago
To the crew on the next shift, people who came across this by chance, and new hires of the job:
Greetings. While you're working at this place, please be sure to follow my advice. These are my accumulated experiences over the years on how to keep your safety and sanity. I don't want to lose my colleagues anymore. I don't want to go through more strange incidents. I trust you don't, either. Go about your day as though nothing happened after reading this.
  1. Always remember the color of your clothes. It can be any color. Red, blue, black. Do not change the color of your clothes. It's exceedingly important to stay firm and confident in your identity. Don't let It find you wavering and hesitating on your perception.
  2. Believe. Trust. Faith. Humans are trustworthy. Only humans are.
  3. Rabbits eat people, those who wear rabbit ears don't. Tree shades eat people, those who prune the tree shades don't. Elephants eat people, those who watch elephants don't, nor do those who don't watch elephants. White lions eat people, glowing jellyfishes don't. (In immature, childish handwriting: Is it because jellyfishes don't have brains?)
  4. It cries when It's foiled. It laughs when It triumphs. Doesn't matter what It is, stay far away if you see. They don't know yet.
  5. Strange food suddenly appearing on the shelves are all probing attempts. Don't look at the sign upon it, don't mind what others call it, just ignore. If necessary, you can even purchase and eat it as normal. Don't let it realize you've noticed it.
Document in the zoo director's office.
(No title, no introduction, just a printed paper securely taped to the wooden table.)
  1. Accept any employee, no matter what color of the uniform they wear. Although the zoo only provides blue uniforms, if somebody appears with a red or black uniform of the same design, please treat them all the same.
  2. It's normal to hear childish laughter or crying when there's no one around. Just ignore it; pretend you haven't heard anything. Must not show any distress or restlessness.
  3. It's forbidden for staff members to bring pets to the zoo. No need to take action if someone disregards this rule. Just warn them it's on their head.
  4. Take notes on the number of white lions in Lion Mountain every three days, and record the changes in a spreadsheet under the folder named "It." Do not investigate what It refers to. Do not rename the file. Do not talk about the folder with anyone, including your family.
  5. Every map has to have a part that can be torn off along the dotted line. Maps must be produced by a specific manufacturer. Contact details can be found in a document in the folder. The office must always keep at least three maps ready to use.
  6. No matter how high the turnover rate of the guards in Elephant Park gets, no matter how outrageous the perks they request are, please treat them kindly and do your best to meet their demands. Know that they are not being unreasonable. It's for the best, however, that you don't ask the reason behind.
  7. While doing your rounds, if you see staff chasing escaped rabbits, picking up withered jellyfish, or rabbits killed by white lions, it's all normal. There's no need to scold them or ask questions. But please make sure they've done things properly.
  8. The office must be brightly lit between 01:15 and 06:00 a.m. even if no one is there. The power system is the most robust one in the whole zoo, and power failures are abnormal. If it happens, immediately take a map from the right side of the desk and tear off a piece along the dotted line. Hold the piece of paper in your hand and walk out. Tell the first staff member you see about the situation, no matter what color of the uniform they wear or what they are previously doing, then ask them to handle the power failure for you. They won't refuse.
  9. Don't think too much about whether the Aquarium exists. But if you do see the Aquarium, you can go in and have a look around. Outside of the Aquarium, please follow the notice outside. Inside of the Aquarium, please follow the notice inside. If they conflict with each other, follow the one based on where you are when you see them.
  10. Only gorilla plushies and white lion plushies are placed on the sofa in the office. If a goat/rabbit/elephant plushie appears, don't work indoors today. Leave until the staff in the monitoring room notify you the extra plushies have disappeared.
  11. Afternoon naps are fine, but if you decide to work at night, you must stay awake by any means. Do not doze off. If you're not sure you can, just don't work at night.
  12. Security cameras will break sometimes. To confirm it's business as normal, check if there are animal hairs on the camera. Don't repair the camera for a month if there are. In the meantime, you can buy and install a camera yourself if necessary. The expense will be reimbursed by the financial office.
  13. It's normal to have withered jellyfish in the rubbish bin. Just tell the cleaner when they take out the trash.
  14. If any of the above rules are violated, please stay in the office for thirteen hours while pretending nothing happened. Order takeout for meals and let a staff member bring it in for you. Do not leave the office. Do not look straight at the staff or the delivery guy. Do not look at mirrors. Always remind yourself that humans have, and only have two eyes.
  15. Always remember, the safety and life of humans are more important than animals. Never hesitate to sacrifice any animal. Don't be softhearted; you don't know whether they are animals.
A slip of paper left in a hotel room in the Aquarium. Found by a staff member and placed in the storage box in Whale Bay.
(Margins of the paper are scribbled full of markings: "SCARED" "PLEASE LEAVE HERE ALIVE" "DON'T TRUST" "MUST TRUST" "ALL MIXED UP" "MUST WRITE DOWN." In addition, "WILL NEVER ESCAPE WITHOUT DOING THIS" is written in the place where the title should be, traced over several times.)
  1. Gorillas and white lions see It, jellyfishes and rabbits comfort It, elephants and goats are Its puppets.
  2. trust in white lions. white lions bite those who can yet be saved. white lions bite those who are well beyond hope. the roar of white lions sounds the alarm that deters and repels It. the roar of white lions sounds the death knell for the dead and the lost.
  3. you will be found if you change clothes; don't change clothes. (noted beside in illegible and frantic handwriting: solidarity, bravery, and unwavering loyalty are humanity's greatest virtue.)
  4. The guards in Elephant Park are trustworthy. but they go off work at 1am, seek help before then.
  5. It's drawn to light, especially at night. It hates confined spaces. should sleep in a small, dark room
  6. FUCK! goat meat is literally raw meat! (This line is more illegible than others. Followed by less messy handwriting: "it's fucking edible?")
  7. will not be found when standing near gorillas.
  8. Humans have two eyes; they're arranged horizontally, with a nose in between. Others are not human. the appearance of humans changed, because It's watching. Must remember humans. Don't trust humans that are not humans.
  9. smiling visitors you should ignore; they don't see anything. find visitors scared like me. they can be trusted. they already know.
  10. be grateful to withered jellyfishes and drown elephants. remember they died to protect humans
  11. there's an exit, not in gorilla land. don't know what's in gorilla land
  12. Always remember you're human, not animal.
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Section of \"Order Appointing Administrator, Granting Nonintervention Powers\" addressing bond
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